"Sir B. McKenzie's Daughter's Lament for the 77th Mounted Lancers Retreat from the Straits of Loch Knombe, in the Year of our Lord 1727, on the Occasion of the Announcement of her Marriage to the Laird of Kinleakie" is the title of a track by Fairport Convention from the album Full House. Somewhat bizarre and doesn't exactly roll of the tongue but it got me thinking of other song titles that make me smile! How about "I Thought I Told You to Wait in the Car" by Sparks, "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" by Frank Zappa, Budgie's "Hot as a Docker's Armpit", "Did I Shave My Legs For This?" by Deanna Carter and of course Morrissey's endearing song "You're the One for Me, Fatty". One of the advantages of instrumental music is that you can call it anything you like and Zappa was a great exponent of this, plucking some magnificant titles from the recesses of his strange mind hence "Dog Breath", "The Voice of Cheese" or "Smell My Beard".

Newport Open Mic at the Royal Naval Association has played host to many of our own talented singer/songwriters: Melissa Severn, Nathan Davis, Malcolm Purvis, Olly Flavell, Dylan Wynford, Heidi Browne, Alex Jayne, Claire Shaw and recently surprise visits from professional musicians Tony McPhee, Toby Walker and Matt Woosey. With the run up to Christmas, Open Mic on Tuesday at the Royal Naval Association in Newport was as busy as ever with well over 60 in attendance.

It has been a few weeks since we last saw John Minor up on stage but always good to welcome him back performing some of his all time favourites by Noel Gallagher and Oasis.

12 year old Jay Harris followed and looking supremely confident for one so young. He invariably has something new added to his vast repertoire and on Tuesday two songs from Catfish and the Bottlemen followed by "Emergency" by Pigeon Detectives pretty much proved the point. Good strong vocals from Jay and it will be very interesting to hear the changes in his voice over the next couple of years. 

Another newcomer to Newport Open Mic was 15 year old Toni-Lee Evans from Telford and a student from Rock Project. I don't thnk she expected quite such a big crowd at an Open Mic session but she certainly overcame her nerves with two outstanding covers, one from Welsh heavy metal band Bullet for my Valentine and the second from the young Australian punk-pop outfit Tonight Alive. Her mentor and vocal coach Remynie Fath who was in the audience was quite rightly very proud of this young lady's performance.

A great start to the evening and something of a party atmosphere in anticipation of special guests and an extended set from Telford band Old's Cool. They are well known and respested on the music circuit but Tuesday night was their first live outing since drummer Kevin Harris was involverd in a serious road accident back in April. Together with Steve Simpkins as lead vocalist, Pete Heywood on bass and vocals, Marc Attwell on rythm guitar and vocals and the amazing Dave "The Fingers" Lowe on lead guitar they brought their own brand of classic blues rock to Newport and raised the roof with what was for me their best performance ever. Classics from Warren Haynes and the Allman Brothers, Thin Lizzy, Gary Moore, Free and Queen showed the band at their very best with spine tingling lead breaks from Dave Lowe. What a treat for us all bringing the loudest applause and cheers I have ever heard at the Navy Club. Welcome back Old's Cool.







It took a brave man to follow that and none braver than Kieran Cahill paying his fourth visit to Open Mic in Newport and his third to our Open Mic stage. Keiran is on a short stay at Combat Stress and is the first to say what great therapy music has been for him. The majority amongst us would certainly agree with that sentiment. A delightful acoustic set included Sting's "Fields of Gold", "Hero of War" by Rise Against and "Somewhere Only we Know",  the John Lewis Christmas advert.

Open Mic is a place where anything goes and next up on stage was Jolene Modd who has lived in Newport for 3 years and who hushed the room with her poetry, much of which she has written about Newport and the countryside. Some delightful poems included "As Much as I Like Birds" and "My Dream of a Perfect Valentine Night".

And so from poetry to our final act winding up a splendid night of live entertainment and Claire Shaw, singer/songwriter from Telford. A great version of Jackson 5's "I Want You Back" followed by a couple of her own which included a newly recorded song "Something Real" and finally Pink's "The One That Got Away".


Well done to the girls for bringing another evening of live music to a close and thank you for keeping the song and poetry titles simple. Ending the evening and going home on a cold winter's night with "Dropkick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life" or "Her Teeth Were Stained But Her Heart Was Pure" may make you smile but don't seem conducive to a restful night. Thanks to Bobby Bare nonetheless for those gems!

And then of course there are the lyrics.......... but perhaps I'll keep those for another time.

Until next week KEEP MUSIC LIVE!